1. Companionship – The couples I have met who have been together for some time and are successful in their relationship have this in common: They are great friends and they like each other. Frequently, couples forget to nurture the friendship part of their relationship and this can be very costly. Friends have some similar interests and they share enjoyable activities and do things together. Make the time to be companions.
2. Sexuality – For many couples it is easy to neglect this part of the relationship, to busy, to tired, don’t feel like it. Many couples do not make keeping their sexuality alive and vibrant a priority in their relationship. Yet sexuality and the bonding of intimacy is what defines the difference between being a couple and being roommates. It isn’t just what happens in the bedroom either it is how you treat each other as sexual and intimate partners outside the bedroom as well.
3. Romance – Part of romance is building your partner up by letting them know you appreciate them, that you find them attractive, acknowledging the things they do, going out on dates just the two of you and nurturing your relationship. So many couples let the business of life bleed the romance out of their relationship. Stop and bring it back in. Acts of caring and sharing could be a place to start.
4. Authenticity – Being emotionally open, honest and vulnerable “REAL” with your partner is absolutely essential. If you feel comfortable enough to let down all of your defenses, allowing the deep core of you to be seen and responded to by your partner and your partner does the same, then you have an emotional relationship par excellence. Unfortunately many couples don’t do that. They play games with each other and wear masks. Playing games and using ineffective strategies to try to get your needs met does not work. It just causes arguments and misunderstandings.
5. Communication – Integrity and vulnerability in communication is key. Relationships are more than 50% about good communication. Communicating respectful even when you are upset about something is important because this is your partner, your love and you want to have a good relationship with them. So take the time to get clear on what is going on with you before you react and say things you don’t mean. Quit blaming your partner for things and instead look for ways to bring better communication to the table. Be honest and say what you really mean.