Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk takes the form of criticism, despair, and shame. It is when you put yourself down when you make a small mistake. It is the impulse to kick yourself when you are down. It can come from childhood experiences, whether it is a particularly harsh parent or the inability to control your emotions following a difficult event.
Humans are guilty of overly internalizing negative statements you regularly hear growing up, even if you don’t remember taking them so seriously. They burrow their way in, and they take root, and they can haunt you.
Negative self-talk and thinking take a variety of forms – from filtering, which means you magnify the most negative aspects of an event or situation to personalizing, which means you blame yourself every time something goes wrong. There is also catastrophizing, which is when you anticipate the absolute worst in any situation.
When you are consumed by negative self-talk, it is difficult to follow through on good intentions. That outlook impacts your ability to gain perspective. And it can intensify negative emotions, which often results in procrastination and avoidance.
Final Thoughts
For every negative message that crosses your mind, there is a positive message to override and correct it. It isn’t a case of seeking out self-deception, it is learning how to recognize that life isn’t black and white.
Every situation comes with negatives and positives, and you have to learn to recognize the positives just as easily as you do the negatives. You are using positive self-talk to recognize the truth about yourself, and the truth about the situations you face.
The changes won’t occur overnight, it is a process. But, as long as you are consistent and committed to making the change, you will eventually get to where you want to be. It is a process – you have to practice, rehearse, and keep going even when you run into trouble.
When you catch yourself in negative self-talk, don’t punish yourself with more negative self-talk, stop and flip the script. The aim is letting go of criticism and creating more self-acceptance.
Remember you are the only one who gives meaning to your experiences. So why not make them positive and supportive!