Most people can identify with the idea of being your own worst critic, if not your own worst enemy. It’s something that most people experience at least once. Even the happiest and most successful people experience negative self-talk throughout their lives.
It’s that critical voice inside your head that waits for moments of weakness to chip in with messages of judgment, doubt, blame, shame, and fear. If it’s few and far between, then it’s something you can easily dismiss.
However, if it becomes a common occurrence, it can have a serious impact on your mental health and happiness. You start to believe the negative lies your inner voice whispers and it becomes a much bigger problem.
There are plenty of different ways to curb negative self-talk, and I have narrowed it down to seven you can start your journey with.
1. Build Awareness
The first step to curbing negative self-talk is becoming aware of that negative self-talk. More to the point, notice the negative thinking patterns and how they influence your mood and behavior, and how your mood and behavior trigger negative thinking patterns as well. You need to take reflection time to take note of how you’re feeling and what is driving the negative self-talk you are experiencing.
2. Challenge It
When you increase your ability to recognize those negative self-talk patterns, you can dive deeper and start building positive self-talk patterns. Your negative self-talk stems from untrue or irrational beliefs. When you catch yourself in the moment you can challenge those thoughts and correct them with positive, and accurate, self-talk.
3. Practice
What better way to curb negative self-talk than to practice positive self-talk? There are a lot of ways to do that, from actively correcting negative self-talk to focusing on gratitude and shifting your focus to all of the positive things in your life. It’s simple, but it’s effective. You can do this proactively as well, setting aside some time in the morning and before bed to reflect and identify positive moments and situations.
4. Step Away
If you are caught up in a cycle of negative self-talk, you can step away and take a moment to shift your perspective. Put yourself in the friend position and imagine that your friend is going through what you are. How would you advise your friend? What words of comfort would you offer? You might be surprised just how powerful it is to imagine you are speaking to someone you love.
5. Talk
Talking about things can be a powerful tool in overcoming negative self-talk, talking to yourself in a journal, asking yourself proactive questions like “What can I learn from this?” or “How would I view this differently if it was someone I loved who did this?”. Talking to a friend who will challenge your negative thoughts and assist you in changing your perspective or a talking to a therapist who can assist you. Ignoring negative self-talk won’t help you and pushing it aside and trying to pretend it isn’t happening will only make it more likely to resurface. The best thing you can do is process it and to process it, you have to be able to talk it out. With yourself, a friend or a therapist.
6. Shelve It
This might sound contradictory considering the last point. However, there are points where negative self-talk can be so overwhelming you need to shelve it. That doesn’t mean it’s forever.
In fact, what you can do is sit down and visualize yourself taking the negative self-talk and placing it on a shelf to give you the emotional space you need to get clarity. It’s really hard to break out of a negative spiral, but using visualization can help disrupt it long enough for you to get a better grip on it.
7. Focus on the Moment
Finally, you can curb negative self-talk with mindfulness. Mindfulness is a highly effective way to combat negative thinking, and it can help you find a sense of relief while you refocus.
When your mind starts to wander, mindfulness gives you the tools to bring it back to the moment to focus on the here and now. Mindfulness is simply a combination of meditation, breathing exercises, and grounding and it’s a great way to break out of a negative spiral.
